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Friday, December 3, 2010

Memories,Memoirs.

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim...


Peace be upon you.^^

How are you guys today? Im just...fine. Maybe. Maybe not. Ahaha. Not after what I’ve seen.

You see, here’s the thing. I have been surfing and blogwalking for the past few hours. Still bored, I decided to visit my fs page (since to be considered, I haven’t updated it for a long…long time, lol. Maybe, approximately one year.) Well, yeah, I went on checking my pictures from high school, year-old comments and such. And guess what? I stumbled upon his comments.

Unable to stop myself, I read it.

The whole… thing. And it make me smiled. It is… so sweet. So innocent. I am so naïve, so trusting…

Haha. Now…everything is… even the word ‘bitter’ can’t describe this. While reading it… there’s a sense of loss inside my heart. You see, I’m not the type that easily let go of somebody. Never. I am not that type. In fact, I hate to lose a friend. Nevertheless, what can I do if he never wants to fix things up?

Am I living a lie? I don’t know. I don’t think so. If I am, why can’t he mend me?

Those comments… haha.

It’s the first step for us. Then, who knows we become best friends?^^

Now, everything is a blur. I am just waiting for the right moment for everything to crash, to ruin. I just can’t keep this going anymore. Up to him, if he wants to pursue for his love, I can’t stop him. Just… go on then.

I’ll wish the best for him. Besides, I’m no one to be compared to him. Yeah. Who am I? I am just a normal girl with a normal face. Normal attitude, normal life, I am just… me. I am not unique or different in his eyes. I’m just someone he’ll stumble upon every day. Of course, he can… well. Find someone better. Prettier. Someone who’s not… plain looking, average looking like me. I am broken, I will not pretend I am not. I am broken. Especially when I lose two persons almost at the same time.

For Mr.Cornflake, rest in peace. Al Fatihah for you.

And ‘him’… yeah. He is still alive, breathing.

I’ll just pray the best for him. Maybe it’s the best for him as well. To move on. I always believe he had this potential in himself- he just… never see it.

Maybe one day he’ll be a great man, Insya Allah.

Too bad, I can’t be there…



Because you are already out of reach...

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